Home » City Council, Community » Harley McGuire and THAT DARN CELL PHONE


Harley McGuire, SedonaEye.com Star Paws Up Columnist

Harley McGuire, SedonaEye.com Star Paws Up Columnist

Sedona AZ (May 29, 2013) Our Four Paws Up Star Columnist Harley McGuire’s been having lots of fun listening to his mom talk about her latest challenge, a dumber smarter cell phone. So let’s hear what’s happening down on the ranch…okay…the living room in Sedona but for a little guy, it FEELS like a ranch out there!

Now, here’s Harley!

…Same as NEVER wanting a computer, Mom NEVER wanted a cell phone – until one morning in March of 2004 she hit black ice just past the Slide Rock Bridge in Oak Creek Canyon and her car smashed into the side of a mountain! That, of course, was long before she became my mommy but, and I know this for sure, it was the reason she decided then and there that even tho she didn’t want one, a cell phone had to become part of her life.

And so (but for a few exceptions) mommy don’t much use it but when she needs to…cuz she’s smart enuf now to know it’s…what was it she called it?…oh, yea…“a necessary evil.”

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago what Mom fondly termed “Old Faithful” became not so faithful – and wasn’t doing the job. What happened was that, like it or not, she needed a new cell phone (or so she thought).

Could this be Harley McGuire's mom?

Could this be Harley McGuire’s mom?

In talking with the cell phone folks she explained that what she really wanted was for her old phone to be fixed. Well, they couldn’t do that because the part she talked into needed to be replaced and they couldn’t do that no more. And so, for the high cost of $10 deducted from the money she prepaid to use the old phone, they sent her a new one.

Bad idea.

After IT arrived she spoke to the people who told her how to make the connection…only to find out “Network Not Available.” For about two weeks THAT was a bigger problem than the death of the cell phone she both loved and hated.

After a while the connection was made only for Mom to find out after she’d made a test call that the cell phone felt “hot.” On no! This couldn’t be happening! Must she return this new improved phone that she didn’t want in the first place for another she wanted less but felt for sure she must have?

And so, what she did then was to make a call to the new cell phone from the house phone…which she calls a “land line”…and have a conversation with herself on both phones to find out if the new phone actually got “hot.” Yep, she did. It didn’t seem to have happened…so then…she left the new phone turned on for quite a while to see if that made it get hot. Well, didn’t seem to and after however long she decided to test it again…at which time nothing happened at all. Yep, charging had gone bye-bye.

Once the dang thing seemed to be working again, she called the nice people to find out if she’d been given proper credit for the “down network time” as she’d been promised. That problem was fixed before she brought up the matter of the “hot” phone…which she was told that yes, it’s possible it had a defective battery or the phone itself was no good.

If only it could have been that simple!

I, as an adopted canine, could only share with the person to whom my mother was speaking when I sensed the roaring of laughter from both sides of the telephone during the explanation of the “I had a conversation with myself for a while to see if the phone would get hot.” Any language barriers that had occurred prior to that time became history because it was clear that laughter is universally understood.

As it now stands, the new phone is still here…but needs much more understanding since Mom only wants a phone to talk on and not to take pictures, send e-mails, download “stuff” which is not wanted, and will ring so she is able to tell when it’s ringing! As far as it getting hot, it’s still too soon to figure out that one. Time will tell. The old phone (as yet) hasn’t been placed in its burial package to be mailed to the recycle morgue.

In the meantime, neither computer nor new cell phone has ended up in the hot tub with the lid closed . . . along with my mother . . . yet. And if only she would remember to have it with her the next time she gets on the ladder outside…

paw prints for harley mcguire columnLovingly,

Harley McGuire

PS: Mom and Sean Baguley, the SedonaEye.com real estate guru, shared a link about how smart phones can be way too smart for our own good. Check out this link (http://www.youtube.com/embed/N2vARzvWxwY?rel=0″) – I want all my pals moms and dads to watch the video and fix their phones before posting our photos! We don’t want any unexpected visitors snatching us out of the yard! Here’s a month of May Shout Out to all my animal pal heroes with the Arizona K9 units – you are awesome dudes and dudettes! The nose knows!

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  1. Chip'n Dale says:

    Yup Harley, we’ve figured out the learning curve for mom is better in the morning. By afternoon if she is trying to figure something out, we scatter!!!!

    Good luck and we hope that smart phone isn’t so smart!!!

    Hugs and Hisses, Chip’n Dale.

  2. Dean says:

    I love your articles! Keep them coming!


  3. Skipper says:

    I think you Mom is way smarter than some phone. Those smart phones can’t be very smart, because if you were left alone with just a phone, to babysit you, would it feed you, or scratch your belly or give you kisses? Not so “smart” in my mind.

  4. Well Chip’n Dale, our new phone ain’t even a “smart” one. What do you expect for ten bucks? Sheesh!

    Thanks, Dean. It’s nice to know someone appreciates my suffering.

    Harley McGuire

  5. Yep, Harley, we feel the same way about “smart” phones. We hear unbelievable language coming out of Mom’s mouth when she can’t figure out what to do…something as simple as answering the darn thing and that’s providing she can tell it’s her phone ringing in the first place.

  6. Oh, so true, Harley. Another amusing and universal article! Our mommy’s folks (Adrienne & Doug) just purchased their very first smart phones and were so confused (naturally) that they had to take a class just to learn how to operate the damn thing.
    And our mommy and daddy do not even own smart phones. They happily have been using the old “dumb phones” with the flip top for years now.

  7. Hey everybody. Guess you don’t understand. We didn’t get a smart phone . . . just a newer version of the old cell phone which looks much like our land line phone. The replacement is flip-top like your mommy and daddy have, Bonnie & Clyde. But to us it’s modern. Are smart phones the flat kind of thingies that people do magic on with their fingers or something? We don’t want that. We just need to be able to call SOS or whatever,

    It’s good to know Fabian, Nikki, and Mojo that your mom knows some of the same words as my own mother. Wow. Better she blows her top that way I guess than , , , well you know . . . the “hot tub route.”

    And Skipper, I agree. No dumb phone, even the smart kind, comes close to filling in when we’re left alone. (besides, Mom takes her dumb phone with her but the other phone rings and wakes me up.) Oh well.

    It’s good to hear from ya’ll.

    Harley McGuire

  8. Inoch says:

    Hi Harley,

    Inoch here. I’ve been reading your post about Smart phones, and all the comments. Now, let me ask you a question, Harley. Remember the day your mom came home and told you she met me? Remember she showed you a picture of me giving your mom a kiss? Well, that was done with my mom’s Smart phone. Could you have been jealous, and that’s REALLY why you don’t like those Smart phones? Think about it, Harley. Could that be the REAL reason? If that’s the real reason, I promise that the next time I meet your mom, I won’t let my mom take out that Smart phone. I hear Mom saying how wonderful it is; but if you ask me, it can cause a lot of trouble….as in your case. Chillax, Harley. Life is good.

    Your friend,

  9. So, Inoch, it’s ’bout time you made some kind of comment even if only to rub it in about that picture of you and MY mother getting cozy.

    And, yep, I was very, very jealous ’cause there I was at home, lonely and all by myself, during your very public flirtation. Well, how would you like it?

    Anyways, don’t think my mom will every really appreciate this not-so-smart phone unless maybe in an emergency (heaven forbid.) She’s more skeered of it than she was when the little snake got into our house a couple of weeks ago. Now that’s REALLY something (and another story for another time.)

    Cheerio, my man!

    Harley McGuire

  10. Carol says:

    Adopting is the right thing to do and from a shelter. Thanks for caring.

  11. Hi Harley McGuire,

    The City of Sedona wants your readers to know about Dog Training Classes:

    Dog owners will want to be a part of the Sedona Parks and Recreation summer dog programing. The line-up of classes and seminars offer a variety of opportunities for dog owners to teach their pets new habits. Whether it is to get out extra energy or teach an old dog better manners, these classes have it covered.

    Join Instructor Sarah Sheridan on this fun journey with your pet. All classes begin Wednesday, June 26, 2013. Choose from three Wednesday class options: Monthly Manners Class, Beginning Flyball, and Intermediate Flyball. Classes are four weeks long and taught at Posse Grounds Park, 525 Posse Ground Road in Sedona.

    Join Instructor Starr Ladehoff, CPDT-KA for affordable seminars. These include Body Language and Communication on July 2; Dog Park Etiquette and Safety held July 24; Surviving Adolescence and Implementing Leadership on July 29; and Positive Solutions for Problem Behavior held July 31.

    Registration is being accepted through the Parks and Recreation Department. Register at Sedona City Hall, 102 Roadrunner Drive, or call 928-282-7098. For more detailed class descriptions, prices and times, please reference http://www.SedonaAZ.gov/Parks.

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