These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:   Enjoy the fun. 

Submitted by Sedona Times reader, Petra Luh, Sedona AZ:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog… able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES:  NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.