Poco Diablo McGuire takes up the late great Harley McGuire’s Four Paws Up Pet Column with his first article “Ima Sufferin’ Caterpiller.”
Sedona AZ (October 5, 2016) – Why aren’t ya here in my time of need? Look what that woman has done to me? Now she tried to splain that one Easter you were a rabbit! But she’s turned me into a Caterpiller for some freaky thingy called Halloweeny.
Now she and some strange lady yesterday made me sit in a basket for hours (maybe at least one) while they suited me up to look like all sorts of weird things like a Goblin, Frankenstein (or something), Bumble Bee, Fireman, just to mention a few. The one most suitable was the Devil himself, but sadly the attire (like that word?) was way, way too big.
So here I am – humiliated beyond words and you ain’t here to give me advice.
Do ya spose if maybe I don’t growl and nip at her friend’s heels when they visit and stop sneaking pee-time in the bedroom she might rethink doing this to me at some other time?
Do ya think maybe some of your loyal fans can give me some advice?
Oh please, please help me Harley!
Adios old pal – Miss ya,
Poco Diablo McGuire
following in his big bro pawprints
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Awe litle bro ya look so cute. It would be a good idea to stop nipping and sneaking pee-time in the bedroom. Ya may want to follow in Harley’s footsteps. Go with the flow. From the looks of the pictures ya are way to cute so it may be hard for yar Mommy to stop dressing ya up. Knowing Harley McGuire as the stand up pooch he was, he’d want ya to take good care of ya Mom. Lookin good bro!
Awe Dude, I didn’t recognize ya. Better mind your new Mom and maybe she’ll cut you some slack. You don’t look too happy for sure..
I’m going to be reall good so my Mom doesn’t get any ideas.
YOU LET HER DO THAT TO YOU? HARD TO BELIVE YOUR
ANCESTORS WERE WOLVES. NEXT TIME BARE YOUR TEETH AND GIVE A DEEP LOW GROWL.
We feel for ya, Poco. We’re really lucky because our parents don’t dress us up (probably because there’s 3 of us & they’re too cheap to buy costumes). I also think Mom saw somewhere a bunch of pooches were dressed up and the sign said underneath, “Why dogs bite people.” Worked for us. In the meantime, keep your chin up and bear with it. Ya know she loves ya’!!!!
Poco, I will not let my mom put anything funny on me, I would hide until I got it off. My cousin Punkin gets dressed up for every holiday and has pictures posted on Facebook. Just be thankful this is the only place your mom posts your pictures.
Now stop nipping, you look good in yellow!!!
Hugs and Hisses – just Chip
This is jest ta let ya no that fur sure I’m not abused in case ya were worried. In fact, now that my photo shute is done Mom let’s me play with caterpillar suit and it’s sorrta fun but ya see I’ve nevah had toys to play with afore so I needs to git used to it. Abused? Not this pup. It’s been me abusin’ Mom’s friends and don’t look for that to change. (oops)
Hi Poco D.
I’m a new dog on the block and my own mother read me your story and, man, I feel for you but in a way wisht I was you just to get some attention. Mom and Dad seem to be in a constant snit over somethin’ called an election which seems to be turnin’ human folks into beasties! Worser than Halloweenie. Better to not fight but have fun.
As a fan of Harley McGuire it’s sort of hard to really understand why he ain’t here no more. But heck, Poco D., no harm in giving you a chance. But ya better shape up and quit sneakin’ pees where you shouldn’t. Hope it works out for you and maybe in time you might even like being the only pet child. Let us know.
An update on Poco Diablo McGuire’s disciplinary sessions:
(1) Doing “potty” outside instead of sneaking mistakes in the house.
Progress: Either he now understands the process or he’s smart enough to find secret locations not yet discovered.
(2) Aggressive behavior:
Not so bad outside his territory.
Translationed: The house he now thinks he owns.
Conclusion: Still needs a lot of work.
Signed: His new mother, the boss – although he still doesn’t quite understand that either (the “boss” part)
It’s the old man in this household that raises the roof. I hates going out to do it during these chilly mornings but HE comes at me with a newspaper. Oh well, just so you know, Poco, you are NOT alone.