Harley McGuire
Not every day turns out to be a walk in the park, that’s for sure.
A couple of weeks ago when I started to feel poorly, I did my best to get Mother’s attention by following her every step, even when she was out working in the yard and had the dreaded hose in her hand. (Not that she ever squirts me, I just don’t like wet feet.)
Anyways, not being able to convey in “people speak” that I was feeling poorly, I just persisted in looking pathetic and sad until she made an appointment to take me to the pet doctor named Vetra Nary. It was a lady this time and so Mom reminded her of my very long medical history before I came to live with her in Sedona, Arizona. Upon checking my still unhinged jaw (broken from being hit by a car), there was that nasty bottom tooth . . . all rotted up and hurting me almost worse than the accident. They took pictures of me but not my sweet face. Something called ExRays that also revealed how my fifth lumber (or something) had been fused to my fourth and sixth.
Yep, I was a mess all right and then Mom knew why I’d been following her with her wicked hose spewing water. And so, things only grew worse. We went home with two bottles of wretchedness because they contained the “P” word.
Shhh. I will whisper it. PILLS.
Mom already told Ms. Nary that I didn’t cooperate at all with taking (PILLS) and all such tricks as hiding them in peanut butter, frozen yogurt, meat, chicken, and yes . . . pill pockets didn’t work. (Mother discovered that at an earlier time when the pills in the pockets showed up under the pillows on the couch two weeks later.)
In addition to the two vials of wretchedness, we were given a “pill popper” which wasn’t worth the trouble to carry it home, and several water ejectors called syringes or something. Having retried all past methods, frozen yogurt blended with peanut butter and other normally tantalizing tidbits, all were strewn about the kitchen counter and floor–and the remains of two colorful green capsules and one-half bitter pill supposedly to relieve me of my pain were among the debris.
Increasingly, I was becoming more talented in making “her” think I swallowed the green monsters by hiding them in the jowl part of my mouth and then spitting them out when she wasn’t looking. Usually, though, they stuck to my fur so she finally caught on.
My best effort, though, was the day I followed her around for about four hours making her think I’d been a “good boy” and swallowed the wretchedness. Then, when she wasn’t looking I spit it out in the hallway where she’d been walking many, many times. She was not a happy camper to learn I’d outsmarted her big time.
From then on my life changed. “She” meant business.
Placing me on my back on the bed, as she does when she brushes me, she put one of her fingers in my mouth, let me bite softly for revenge as she worked on my feet which we all know I hate. However, this time sheer trickery! She rammed one of the green monsters down my throat.
She wasn’t very good at “ramming” however because I promptly spit it out as in “So there.”
After several repeat sessions of this, Mother was the one in need of my pain pills because her arms, both of them, had been bloodied and were black and blue. My best effort was when I flung my head like a snorting stallion and got her good with both of my hind feet. That was not a good idea. From then on that mean, mean lady refused to take “no” for an answer and, mostly, I’ve had to obey because “she” laid down the law!
So, my dear friends and loyal readers, my life has become a varied spelling of the word “beach.”
A trip to see Ms. Nary last Friday confirmed one more week of two daily doses of the green venom followed by my next appointment whereby they’ll poke me, prod me, and even take some of my blood all to find out if I’m fit enough for dental cleaning and at least one extraction.
Yikes.
Oops, forgot to tell you I’m on a diet.
Four years ago when I came to live with Mom I weighed in at eleven pounds. I’m now at fifteen + a skoch pounds. Ms. Nary wants me back to my eleven pounds.
Wow, a loss of four pounds on a little guy like me? Guess I’d better mind the mean lady I live with and use my personal staircase down from the bed instead of taking one of my flying leaps which is sooo much fun but my back doesn’t agree.
Thanks to my many friends for e-mails and phone calls inquiring about my health. You’re the best . . . all of you.
Lovingly,
Harley McGuire
With all that goes on in this topsy turvy world we live in every day, this column is truly a breath of fresh air….you don’t even have to be a dog lover to enjoy Harley’s romp through life. Thank you, Harley
I don’t think I’d want to eat anything that is “green” either, except maybe grass. Too bad you couldn’t just down a handful of “grass”. I heard that some people use “grass” for medicine, so maybe you can find some and that will make your tooth stop hurting. If nothing else it will give you very fresh breath.
I guess you must be feeling better cuz I saw you out walking the other day. Were you looking for some grass? It will turn your mouth green and then she’ll think you ate the “green” monster. You will probably also lose weight if you eat more “grass” but just make sure you don’t get any caught in your teeth cuz then she’ll have to look in you mouth and that’ll blow your cover.
Well, just make sure you do a sniff test on the grass before you eat it. I prefer the long tender shoots myself. Happy Trails.
HARLEY I HAVE KNOWN YOUR MOM FOR MAYBE THREE OR FOUR OF YOUR LIFE CYCLES AND I KNOW SHE WOULD ONLY DO WHAT WAS GOOD FOR YOU, SO QUIT YOUR B(EACHING) AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS!
Oh Harley my sweet little boy. Enjoyed reading your side of story very much. Be a good boy and get better soon. Boo and Napoleon send their love. Love you! Donna of Sweet Arts, Sedona
Woof, Arf, and a happy tail’s up to all of you for giving meaning to my efforts (with the help of my mean, mean mother) for the comments you took time to post for our efforts to hopefully contribute a few words to brighten up lives during these dark days.
Thank you. We love you all.
Harley McGuire
I love Harley McGuire’s article….he has such a good life and a great mom!
Harley – you didn’t call. We hope you get better because this “pill” thing is an issue but if they help you have at it. PLEASE!
Feel better soon. Our mom’s need to talk!!!
love from the “Boys” and their mom!
So sorry for all your pain and suffering… A word of advice though – your Mom has your best interests at heart so please cooperate and follow her and Ms. Nary’s advice, and you’ll feel better soon.
Harley~we are all really sad to hear about your ailment, but are thrilled to see you back in this column. So that you know, we also hate being given pills, liquids to “make us feel better”…We know our mom does it for our own good but…we still don’t like it! Of course, if she mixes her potions with some chicken soup broth or some rice…than that’s a totally different story.
Get better dear friend!
Inoch, Sadie, Hudson and Dominic
A friend of mine, and his name is Bongo, just started a blog and I wanted to share it with you…http://bongodogblog.wordpress.com/
Hope you feel better!
Pepper
Hope you are feeling better by now Harley. You should know your “mom” would only do what’s best for you so stop fighting her and take your pills, we all have to suffer taking “bitter pills” now and then.
Dear Harley McGuire,
You dogs amaze me sometimes….From a cat perspective, you are, well, how am I going to say it without being too harsh, especially now that you are in tender condition, well, you are careless. Showing your mother that you were sick was a mistake. Sick means the visit to the vet, thermometer under you tail, strange hands opening your mouth and looking at your teeth, all that nightmare. And then they shove the pills into your throat whether you like it or not. Liquids too. Injection is usually the next torture they perform. The thing is we can not speak their language and tell them exactly what we would like to be done for us when we feel crapy. I wish there was a psychic in Sedona who would communicate with us before we are forced to visit a pet doctor. Somebody of a name Pet-ula or Animalenzia for example.
You and your mother would go to a psychic, then you tell the psychic to tell your mother that all you want is a good steak, a new toy, pill free frozen yogurt, plenty of walks (perhaps in your condition you should be carried in a backpack) and a miracle. MIracle is my favorite. Costs nothing, happens instantly and leaves you sick free, can make you even famous. How do the miracle happen? That, unfortunately, remains a the mystery. But if people of Sedona put their minds together, form a praying circle, beat the drums, bless the mother Earth and meditate, one can expect some results, don’t you think?
Well, Harley my friend, I wish you all the best in your recovery and hope you will never have to be drugged and tortured again in your life. When comes to food, my mommy feeds me with a raw ground turkey, mixes it with some minerals, a bone meal and a taurine. On top of it I get as a treat a raw milk which I drink or wait till it becomes yogurt-like and then I eat it. I love it. Guess what, recently my mommy brought home a raccoon tail and it became my blue blanket.
Stay well, my friend
Yours,
Blacky
Wanted to share this with you…my Dad saw it on Facebook.
Shumann
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· Dog Bless You
Best Friends For Life. What would the world be like without our animals? Dog Bless this Wednesday. Lucky.
Mom and I are off to see Dr. Nary at 10:00 AM. Last evening concluded the “ramming” of the final green monster, at least for the time being. However, both doses yesterday were administered without incident.
Yep, I finally quit fighting. Needed to give Mommy’s arms a chance to heal. Guess she isn’t so bad after all.
Lovingly,
HM
my cat Phyllis thinks dogs are nice (cuz they live far far away and don’t come near her kingdom) – feel better soon
Just saw this entry on Facebook and it melted my heart. We can always count on our four-legged friends to give us a royal reception when we come home, specially when you are a soldier who just came back from a tour of duty in Iraq.
Abe Koniarsky
Sedona, AZ
http://www.godvine.com/Great-Dane-Welcomes-his-Soldier-Daddy-Home-from-Iraq-633.html
Hi Harley,
This is your friend Inoch. Wanted to share with you a story of two of my friends who also graduated from the same school I went to learn how to save humans and give them a chance for a new life…don’t forget to watch the video…
http://carlsbad.patch.com/articles/dog-helps-man-heal-from-freak-accident?ncid=M255
http://www.delmartimes.net/2011/08/18/del-mar-schools-have-furry-new-faculty-member/
Oh My Goodness. Your responses to my current predicament are overwhelming! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for caring and sharing your thoughts and suggestions.
The trip to Dr. Nary was actually short and sweet but of course very costly. I didn’t have my temperature taken (whew) and was a bit surprised because last week it was slightly elevated. The worst thing is that I’ve gained a few ounces. Don’t know how that happened because Mother has been really stingy on what she feeds me.
I was a very good boy when they took some of my blood and on Monday (tomorrow) they will call Mommy and let me know if I’m fit for the ordeal of the badly needed dental work, which may very well require some sort of wiring on my jaw so it doesn’t drop off my head or something. Doc Nary said she might even send Mom some of those funny pictures for me to show you my “before” and “after” jaw work.
Wow. How about that?
And so there you have it. Thanks again for your kind thoughts. It makes Mommy’s heart sing too knowing that so many people care.
Lovingly,
Harley McGuire
XOXO
Glad the visit to Dr. Nary wasn’t too traumatic for you and that you were a good boy. Continue to be a good boy for your Mom and keep me updated on your progress. GOOD LUCK.
Hey Harley and Mom,
We brush Cody’s teeth two or three times a week with baking soda and salt. (Use two tsp. baking soda, 1/4 tsp. salt and mix with a little water). We use a “finger brush” that you can get at any pet supply store.
His teeth are pearly white.
what a funny guy…so glad he’s been adopted!!!! 4 hours ago · via Facebook
Saw this entry on facebook and wanted to share…it’s amazing how bright our four-legged companions are. Sometimes, we take them for granted and don’t give them enough credit…http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2011/08/29/service-dog-acts-quickly-to-help-owner/#.Tl0uUaEzCNY.facebook
Lordy, Lordy, Dog Lover! That video about Emma is really something. Just goes to prove the saying about doggies being man’s best friend. For the most part they sure do outshine their counterparts, meaning those who walk upright(?) on two feet.
Lovingly,
Harley McGuire
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Happy Labor Day Weekend Harley McGuire! sent via Facebook to Harley McGuire