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The Gripe Guy on the Lousy Economy!

The Economy in The Garbage! What else is new, right?  It’s gotten so bad I need a second job just to keep ahead enough to get to my first job.

Every trip to the supermarket costs me a hundred bucks and it ain’t getting better folks.  The experts say Americans are the fattest people in the world and we need to eat better.  Ha!  What they don’t tell you is that eating better costs more money. 

Do I buy the cheaper cut of meat or buy the outrageously expensive cut with all its pesticides and growth hormones?  Do I get the free range stuff?   The cheap stuff, like the dollar menu, isn’t great either.  Sure it’s cheap and you can feed your family, but they say that that hamburger patty is really pieces of over a thousand cows!  We don’t even have cows that graze on grass anymore.  They are fed corn!  And chickens reach head-chopping size in less than five weeks!  Even the spinach has had e-coli bacteria on it!  How’d that happen?  It happens because we no longer bother to keep the cows clean and the runoff goes into the fields. 

Feeding America is becoming a huge problem.  One big burger chain says its losing it’s target customer base which they say is the cooler uncle who knows everything.  Did I hear that right?  A whole team of marketing experts decided it’s sole customer base should be an uncle none of us has?  The dollar menu and the the whole fast food experience just became less appealing.

Keeping clean is even getting more expensive.  I was always a high-end laundry detergent guy because I always felt that you needed the best when it comes to being clean.  Not anymore.  Besides I’m not rolling in mud on a daily basis so I’m just washing out the beautiful aroma of me not to offend. 

The beautiful throw away mop refills are now replaced with a good old fashioned cotton mop that I can reuse over and over again.  When the mop head has seen it’s last days, I can use one of the throw away t-shirts I bought.  I say throw away t-shirts because even clothes don’t last as long as they should anymore. 

And why is it if the t-shirt tag says large, then why after one washing it shrinks down to extra small?  Forget about buying up a size because when it does shrink it ends up looking like a short mini-dress. 

My car no longer gets the best either.  She gets the low grade gasoline and I tell her she’s on a diet too.  Even the oil changes have gone up.  Sure, I could go to a hole in the wall garage for their special $12.95 oil change, but truth is I fear them coming back with a head gasket leak on my baby that doesn’t exist.  Think it doesn’t happen?  These are hard times baby, and everyone needs a buck, honestly or dishonestly. 

How do you survive in these tough times?  Let the Gripe Guy school ya baby!

You gotta be smarter than anyone else out there.  When the phone solicitor calls you on the phone wanting a donation ask him or her for their social security number, driver license, date of birth, and address.  Then tell them you’ll consider a donation. 

Clean with vinegar, it smells bad, but works great and if the maid doesn’t like it she can walk too. 

And lastly people, ground-up-anything looks like hamburger when it’s all fried up and covered in sauce. 

Have a gripe or comment?  Leave your comments here!

Gripe Guy is for entertainment purposes only.

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