Jim “The Gripe Guy” is getting older, and since dieting does not work like it used too, he is going to start jogging.
I remember the day when I could just stop eating cookies and ice cream and the weight dropped off. Not anymore. Even the over-the-counter diet pills are not working. I’m not looking to drop much weight… maybe fifteen pounds but it’s a beast to unload.
What’s really funny is if you asked me two months ago to go jogging, I would have laughed in your face as you jogged by. I always thought I couldn’t be one of THEM.
Once I lived near a gym and could see the couples dressed alike as they jogged in for a workout. No way was I going to become a Stepford Wife in spandex jogging off to the gym for a morning workout when all I could barely do was grab a cup of coffee before work. Besides, my lung capacity was needed for my favorite cherry cigars!
Sometimes we look in the mirror and see what we want to see. My waist was getting bigger but I continued to think I looked good. I would tell myself that my jeans were shrinking and why can’t manufacturers make clothes that don’t shrink, but I guess cotton is like that, besides if I looked down I could still see my feet.
Then one day I asked my best friend if I looked fat and she said I looked a little pudgy. “WHAT! You’re my best friend and you won’t lie to me?” I said as my head snapped in her direction.
I was giving a huge housewarming party in several weeks and among the expected guests were lots of industry people. No way was I ever going to wear a caftan to my own party and that started the diet of ground turkey, beans, salsa, and fat-free sherbet for my sweet tooth. I dropped the weight and was the center of attraction, fabulous in all white. However, slowly and surely, the holidays came around and I put some of the weight back on. Okay, back to the diet. After starving for several weeks, the weight still refused to come off and all I could think of was the dreaded word exercise!
Well, I started working out and running on the treadmill at the gym. After a while it’s a little more toned, but still not quite there, if you know what I mean. It’s all about getting that heart rate up, isn’t it? And it all boils down to vanity, doesn’t it?
I have less hair and more wrinkles around the eyes but those are things I can’t control. However, I can avoid looking like a pregnant man. Now I have the running shorts and the light jacket and, well, I am researching running shoes. I even joined a website called about.com, which sends daily running tips…my free trainer, so to speak.
Did I mention that the cherry cigars are on their out too? Yes, you heard me “on the way out” because I cannot just throw money out the window, and I need to let go of my cherry dreams slowly. But before long, you’ll be seeing a white blaze running along 89A headed North and it won’t be the Good Humor man!
Funny, after all this time, I never thought I could be one of THEM but the truth is how are we ever to know what we can be until we try?
Look out, Lance Armstrong, “The Gripe Guy” is out there and he’s not taking names but giving numbers!
Have a jogging tip or a runners club to suggest, let me know! Leave your comments here!