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Gripe Guy on Whose Got Sense?

Common Sense, PLEASE!  I’ll pass on the second helping because I already have plenty, thank you, but why are so many out there lacking even a healthy dose of it?

I should start by giving you my definitions of common sense:  Common sense says that if I play with a loaded gun, I might get shot.  Common sense says that while taking something out of the oven without an oven mitt, I will get burned.  I call those brain-stem functions and they should occur as naturally as breathing and walking on two feet!

My friend who was recently over for dinner had this one waiting for me….I take a pie out of the oven and tell her that we will eat it after it cools.  No less than two minutes later, she asks if she can cut me a piece of pie. “I just took the darn thing out of the oven!  What part of “cooling off” didn’t you get?” to which she replies, “Well, how long before the pie is cool enough to eat?”

Common sense says that it takes longer than two minutes, but even then, holding a hand over the pie to feel for heat makes sense too. Then she got mad at me.

“Why are you mad at me?” I asked, “After all, you’re the one who said something that makes you look like an idiot.  And now instead of thinking and seeing the logic in the whole thing, you go and get all defensive!”

She obviously needs a second dose of common sense and I will forgo the blond joke at her expense.

I will never forget what happened several years ago.  I was watching the news and there was a story of people living in a house in the middle of winter who got carbon monoxide poisoning.  Terrible news!  As it turns out, the people had not paid the gas bill and as it got colder, the fools decided to pull the gas barbecue grill in from outside to heat the house!

Common sense says that a gas barbecue grill inside the house is probably not a good idea because it could burn down the house, let alone be poisoned by gas fumes!  I commented to someone that the people would probably get help with a new place to live.

Yep, the Red Cross did step in.  True story.

Common sense says to me that making a left turn from the right hand lane is probably not a good idea, but I see people do it all the time.  I see people stop in traffic to let someone out of a car and wonder if they want to get rear-ended.  You see, people, I always anticipate that people driving other cars have licenses that should have been pulled years ago!

Common sense tells me not to cross any street while surfing for tunes on my IPod.  Common sense tells me to look both ways and keep looking until I am safely across a street because I know the driver making a right-hand turn is looking at oncoming traffic to his left, and never once will he look right to see me crossing the street!

I am a survivor baby, and I will check out when I’m ready, not when you decide.

Common sense entails more than just thinking.  Common sense is also about realizing that you have to be smarter than anyone else out there!  As someone said to a friend years ago, “Take off your wig, Millie, the air needs to circulate.”

One more gripe folks!  Has anyone seen that show called “Hoarders” on TV?  I am all for collecting stuff and enjoy lots of shopping like most of us out there, but at what point do you just become a pig?

And since when is being really dirty a mental diagnosis?  After coming home from a compulsive ‘shop till you drop’ trip and opening the front door, why don’t these “hoarders” ever notice that the house smells like dirty feet and cat urine?

When neighbors call the County to report a rat problem coming from your house, common sense should tell you that dirty is way out of hand.  Common sense should tell you that using the oven door as a shelf for your “much needed” purchases won’t work because now you can’t bake dinner?  Common sense should tell you that you have gone too far when you sleep on the floor and not on your bed because you cannot get into the bedroom for all the “stuff”!

They say 3 million people suffer from this “disorder.” I say it is really 1 million, and the others are just too lazy to push a vacuum!

Gotta gripe or an opposing viewpoint?  Leave your comments!

*The Gripe Guy is for entertainment purposes only.

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