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Eddie Maddock: Puzzlements

SedonaEye.com columnist Eddie Maddock takes time for puzzlements.

Sedona AZ – “My mom washes the dishes before she puts them in the dishwasher. So what does the dishwasher do?” asks the little girl in the TV ad. This brings up a multitude of age old questions beginning, but not ending with, a small child asking his own mother “Where did I come from?”

As we commence to grow older knowledge is, of course, conveyed from attending school and word of mouth which, from experience, we also learn isn’t always the best source. But in the ultimate scheme of things, don’t we really learn mostly from our own practical experiences – to coin a phrase – from “the school of hard knocks?” Maybe – just maybe the most valuable lessons arise from asking questions and demanding logical, factual answers whenever possible. “Whenever possible” is a catchy little phrase because in certain rare situations there really are no definitive answers, particularly when tried and true methods of ascertaining certainty remain unconfirmed.

Throughout the journey of life on a daily basis, we are confounded by unknown situations which pose the ongoing query of “How come?” For example, how many people have their name and phone number listed on the national “Do Not Call List” in order to avoid never-ending disruptions from unwanted solicitations including, but not limited to, troublesome Robo Calls? What is it these people don’t understand? Why persist with annoying intrusion, calling when it isn’t supposed to occur since your name and phone number should be off limits? Why isn’’t the Do Not Call list more effective and why must our privacy continually be invaded when we have officially, but politely requested respect? Do these rude people remain clueless that by invading our privacy they frequently turn their prey into raving, hateful beasts?

Gratefully acknowledging the convenience of “Caller ID” among the most annoying offenders are endless calls from Out of Area, Toll Free, and Wireless intruders.

Glo Fish, genetically modified animals. For more information, look it up or answer the question why do we need genetically engineered Glo Fish at all.

A partial list of those with ID’s include, but are not limited to: Kingston, JM; Arizona Call; Apopka, FL; Daniel Pickard; Middleburg, FL; Flagstaff; Whitlow, AZ; Chicago Il; Payson AZ; Tuba City, AZ; Breast Cancer; Atlantic City, NJ; David Camadro; Microsoft Attn; Joel Cohen; Palo Alto, CA; Moss Point, MS; Phoenix; Silver Cloud; Dean Wilson; and, AZ Tour N/Travel!

Phew! And just how do you suppose these pesky privacy invaders managed to obtain a phone number that was appropriately placed on a Do Not Call List to prevent their intrusive activity? If our mothers are no longer available to tell us, where or from whom do we obtain answers?

To accompany aggravating unwanted phone calls, how about the wonderful gadget you saw advertised on TV which you just had to have? However when you received it, included was the mystery of how to extract it from the laminated plastic in which it’s encased? Unfortunately there are no instructions which begins the often perilous endeavor to break the seal and not damage the product in so doing.

Processional applications of various size knives, scissors, saws, pliers, and a single-edged razor might eventually work. Surely cracking a safe would be a simpler task. However one must be prepared. Along with the surgical tools it i’s advisable to have 70% Isopropyl Alcohol, Hydrogen Peroxide, Witch Hazel, an assortment of gauze, surgical tape, and band aids (just in case). A nail file and clippers might also be considered – if you are fortunate enough to have any fingernails remaining after having accomplished the task of opening the laminated encased object you couldn’t live without.

Once the grizzly packaging is successfully opened and you go to one of the bottles of wound disinfectant handily available, you discover you are unable to get the lid off! Oh no, – not another one of those “easy to open childproof lids?” Not a problem. Just call on your own child, grandchild, or if necessary a neighborhood kid who will be able to zip it off with a twist of the wrist.

Or is it possible perhaps among the top of the list of life’’s mysteries are politicians and/or elected officials? How often do they run on a platform of pledges, promises, and the rosiest future one could ever envision? Then, once elected, it generally doesn’’t take long to figure out the only thing on the horizon is more broken promises and forgotten pledges, frequently without benefit of explanation.

A final question: “Why?”

Most Moms (and Dads ) remain clueless on that one. Maybe only The Shadow has the answer.

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15 Comments

  1. How Come?? says:

    Where are all the angry written comments about this lighthearted commentary from Eddie Maddock? Nothing to gripe about here? Or are you too busy plotting and calculating behind the scenes on how to sail through approval of that proposed 4-story building at the end of Sunset? And then to further your scheming, amend the community plan to downsize building lots, setbacks, and density in general?

    Goodbye, Sedona! We need many more things to amuse us instead of the visible destruction unfolding before our very eyes IMO.

  2. Lisa, VOC says:

    fun & cute
    my gps can’t find ace hardware in village

  3. Rosa Romero says:

    Can’t stop laughing about trying to open those plastic encased products. OMG every time a company sends one they should automatically include a nail file. Nice to communicate on an aggravating but amusing topic.

  4. Jan W., west Sedona says:

    @Rosa Romero if you’re able to do the trick with just a nail file you are very fortunate. That plastic laminate stuff is far tougher than nails – finger and carpenter varieties! Seems someone eventually might sue for bodily harm – maybe that’s already happened. Funny but frustrating.

  5. Fran, Sedona says:

    Thx Eddie, I chuckled @glo fish puzzlement.

  6. @How come says:

    Look in the mirror….

    Your the one who turned a lighthearted article into a dramatic…overblown nonsense comment… as always

  7. GNS says:

    Can relate to the frustration of robocalls etc. No less than 15 just today and I’ve registered on the do-not-call list. Here’s another one as I’m about to send this from Denver. Don’t know anyone in Colorado!

  8. SFSC says:

    my friend Nora sorts recycling before dumping in the bin but the bin gets dumped in a dumpster that gets dumped in a big sorter :-( if you tell her what she does is stupid that will help me out :-)

  9. Avri Hallam says:

    your friends a moron
    there ya go
    my friends freaking crazy to
    she buys bread & freezes it
    says its fresher that way
    I say purpose of bread is fresh
    not frozen but she says it keeps better
    keeps better???
    I want fresh not kept weeks old bread

  10. Mandy, Sedona says:

    Can’t stand busybody neighbors snooping in other people’s garbage cans to see if they recycle! They’re the same ones who complain if people don’t get around to cleaning up downed trees from this recent storm 5 minutes after tree branches snap off! Too bad they don’t have more interesting things to do. Seems it should be the city’s responsibility to maintain all city owned roads same as the county once did and that included removing downed trees and branches. (deleted by editor)

  11. Truckee Kiddonski says:

    Sedona nitwits

    Give peace a chance and give us peace from your development nightmare

  12. @Truckee Kiddonski says:

    Amen Brother (Sister?)

    “Give peace a chance and give us peace from your DEVELOPMENT NIGHTMARE!”

  13. Liz says:

    nice feel good change

  14. Linda, west Sedona says:

    Thanks for caring about Sedona more than Sedona cares about itself and its children, Eddie Maddock. To readers there is no negative reflection if I don’t use my last name on my level of caring that Sedona politicians don’t care and leverage Sedona for their own personal and business gain. Sedona businesses are less trustworthy because they view those around them as their less-thans. My views, my castle, my rights as a resident are greater than the material goods business owners here buy at discounts, and then charge us retail prices far in excess of their quality and worth. That inflated cost includes hotel rooms and restaurant meals, high prices for the same food you can buy elsewhere at half the costs? The same rooms you can rent elsewhere for half the costs?There is no high road walked by businesses or the politicians on city council. No high road. We live in Sedona and it is a place of moral choices because of its spectacular oneness. We are let down. We have been let down. We can expect to be let down.

  15. Carol says:

    Sending Sedona Happy Faces. Thanks for a Sedona Smile.

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