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Eddie Maddock on What Next?

Eddie S. Maddock

Sedona AZ (March 2 2011)-In their infinite wisdom, four out of seven members of the Sedona City Council decided who will own the remaining portion of Arizona State Route 89A within Sedona City Limits. With the conclusion of that monumental decision, how will they now spend their time?

Perhaps, since they have deemed themselves experts on the subject of designing and implementing State Highways, they are likewise qualified to solve all matters relating to the State of Arizona. Lord knows it needs all the help it can get, what with the Federal law suit, threat of boycotts, bad press, and just generally tainted image.

A nice gesture might begin with taking a page out of the books of the Great State of Utah. How about those four members of our Sedona City Council taking time for a look at some of the matters decided within the Utah State Legislature and maybe gaining even more insight at suggesting how Arizona, including Sedona, might enrich their own quality of life.

For example, a top priority with the Utah governmental body has been to make major decisions relating to designating many things with a “Utah State” image. For example, did you know that the Utah State Cooking Pot is the “Dutch Oven?” The Utah State Vegetable is the Spanish Sweet Onion, although the State Historic Vegetable is the Sugar Beet. Some associations are generally better known such as the State Emblem being the Beehive, State Bird the “California” Seagull, and Sego Lily the State Flower.

A sweetheart is the State Insect . . . Honey Bee! Another cutie is the State Folk Dance = Square Dance. State Rock is Coal; State Animal, Rocky Mountain Elk; State Fruit, Cherry; State Fossil, Allosaurus; State Gem, Topaz; State Grass, Indian Rice Grass; and State Star, Dubhe.

Not too imaginative: State Flag = State Flag and Seal? However and appropriately the State Song is “Utah, This is The Place” as was the designation declared by Brigham Young as he stood beside the monument now bearing his image where the event actually occurred. The State Tree is the “Blue Spruce” (very nice) but the State Tartan not too imaginative but coined as the Utah State Tartan. Utah has a State Tartan?

Now the State Mineral, “Copper,” and the State Motto, “Industry,” make a compatible union. All tied together this assembly, consisting of hours of deep thought, public meetings, executive sessions, and intense migraine provoking decision-making choices represents statements of present and past elected officials. Currently under discussion is whether or not Browning Automatic should be added as the Utah State Gun. Other “labels” under consideration are “Green Jello” and “Funeral Potatoes” for whatever . . .

Therefore, isn’t it logical that the four council members who maintain they voted the will of the people although it really didn’t count anyway because all they were voting on was an “administrative process” could better avail their talents on an Arizona State level and think up names for anything which hasn’t been documented as being already attached elsewhere and/or renaming some of the well thought out choices made by the Utah State Legislators. Whew! After all, when you’re good you’re good and, possibly, they might even charge for their brilliance to help foot the bill to maintain our newly acquired roadway many years from now (40?) after the amazing financial infusion of fifteen million dollars from ADOT has been spent.

It’s unfortunate the Bonneville Cutthroat Trout has already been declared as the Utah State Fish. That might work well for the newly acquired section of State Route 89A. Why not just remove the “Bonneville” part, change the capital “T” to a capital “R” and add an “e” ?

Voila! CUTTHROAT ROUTE!

Thanks big sister for the inspiration you conveyed, though unintended, for me to write this. ~Eddie

 

 

 

5 Comments

  1. J. Rick Normand says:

    Eddie,

    After reading this voluminous article, I’m still not sure what your point is!

  2. Ray says:

    Ok how about “Bitter Route”, Eddie?

    Somebody needs to get a humor-door, J. Rick.

    Sometimes my wife just cracks me up.

  3. Eddie says:

    Sheesh, Rick! If the moral of the story must be explained to you seems perhaps you’re drinking too much Cool Aid? Or maybe even something else.

    Anyhow, thanks for reading my story. It was great fun to write and my guess is that there are at least four people on that Sedona City Council who know exactly what point I was making.

    LOL,
    Eddie

  4. Bettye says:

    Geez Eddie. I can tell You’re upset, but UTAH! Settle down, take deep breaths, or the next thing You know You’ll be working for Larson.

    LOL,
    Bettye

  5. Eddie says:

    Bettye, Bettye, Bettye . . . lighten up and laugh, at least for the moment. Tomorrow may not be so funny. And, what’s wrong with my home state of Utah?’ Take a “time-out” at the dog park.

    LOL,
    Eddie

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